Life as a blur

Why is it that when one is mentally exhausted time seems to move a lot quicker? A friend tells me she saw me walking through the quad fifteen minutes earlier. I pause...and think, Was that really fifteen minutes ago? I have no clue. To me, it felt like less than that. Could it really have taken me that long to walk across the quad, through a court yard, up three flights of stairs, take a detour to the ladies room and possibly stand at the class door for two minutes before my friend tapped me on the shoulder. Was I moving that slow?

Could it be that one can be moving at a pace indifferent to the world around he/she? Well obviously that's not impossible. Let me rephrase my train of thought. Ahem, could it be that one's mind be in slow motion, distorting awareness of passing time while the world assumes normal pace? Actually that's also possible. One could be mentally thick or just slow in registering the world around them. I'm not making much sense. Could be because I'm still mentally exhausted from the long day. Yes! being tired can make the world seem so much slower, making your head feel lighter, no heavier...lighter? What ever it is.

So when one is so tired, all concentration and focus goes out the window and you find yourself zoning in and out of a conversation like a wavering magnifying glass on an object. Uncertain about what was said one should stay silent right? No, but that's exactly what my tired mind believed at the time was the correct option. Reflecting now still a bit light headed, something tells me silence probably set off a vibe of being discourteous. Could that be worse than confessing the tiredness which ultimately leads to "what your saying is not interesting enough"..."your boring me", even though that isn't the case at all. One is just brain dead, a dying battery.

The feeling of displacement and being totally out-of-it is not unpleasant, nor is it great but some how very usually intriguing. I guess it is because everything I do is so controlled. Letting go is a nice change. Tiredness makes eye lids heavy and vision a bit hazy. Everything seems blurry from a distance, insignificant, unimportant... Like being in your own little bubble world that is dreamy, hazy and carefree.