Case of the Missing Toothpaste

How can life be so dull? And how could an argument stem from something so silly? A missing tube of toothpaste...

A woman's chilling scream. Argghh! ... Truthfully there was nothing of the sort but for dramatic effect... Argghh! Good grief the toothpaste is missing! Someone call the authorities. There's a mystery to be solved. Me: Yawn.

On a cold autumns night, a normal night like any other, an unsuspecting woman washes before bed.  She reaches for the toothpaste on the bathroom sink and... Surprise, surprise it's not there. Perplexed with a hint of fear she holds her composure together to question her husband.

Like in the eyes of many of those fortunate to have been in wedded bliss for decades they know their partners too well. Sometimes all too well. In recent years, though loving and all, the man had come tired of his dear's foibles. In his eyes, was a woman who had grown untrusting of the world, suspicious of every missing possession and ever so more of people.

"What's missing this time?" with a raised eyebrow.

The mistake was a poorly hidden growl under toning his reply. And with that note a battle begins.

Accusations fly east and west. Insults and mockery being the basic artillery. And not long now... Cue casualties!

The war zone finds itself turning to the court of justice. Or really the interrogation room.

Suspect 1.

A poor chap with selective memory. No motive and a valid alibi. He was at work all day.

Suspect 2.

Home all day. Last to have been in contact with the lost property. Probability high. First interrogation, denied claims.

Suspect 2: "Why would I have the toothpaste? Did you think I took it to eat?!"

No motive. True. But given Suspect 2's whereabouts during the last twenty-four hours of the crime she is still high on the suspect list. If no motive, then unintentional.

Interrogator: "Did you possibly take it by accident?"
Suspect 2: "Am I a nutter?"

No luck with the interrogations lead to a second search party. As team of "highly trained" operatives sweep the scene of the crime once more. Claims of a ghost. A giant rat. Something living in the attic. Boo!

Jeez. It's a tube of "TOOTHPASTE"! It's missing. Then open another tube! But of course if the voice of reason could work to begin with then this silly charade would not have begun in the first place.

But alas the toothpaste was missing.

The case remain unsolved and so husband and wife were left with no option but to call it a night. Yes, sleep with you're bloody grudges under your pillows!

...


In the last hour of the night, a cheerful fella saunters home. Unbeknownst to the others his visit to the dentist that morning. And in his bag, bound tightly the infamous missing toothpaste.

Of course it was Suspect 3! How could you really think a tube of toothpaste could vanish into thin air?

Well the reason why I told you this silly story is because: One. It happened. Two. I can't believe it happened. And three. It reminded me of one of my earliest posts: Lost and Found and FYI, I'm still waiting on the mystery of my lost comb, lost hairbrush and a lost second hairbrush to be solved.